Why Chasing Happiness Doesn’t Work

I was always someone who chased happiness, yet for a long time, it felt just out of reach. I believed that if I just had the bag, the hairstyle, the house, the job — then I’d finally feel content.

But over time, I realised something fundamental: no amount of money or success could buy lasting happiness. Because happiness isn’t found in the having. It’s a state of mind.

From a young age, possessions felt deeply important. I still remember one Christmas vividly. I must have been about ten and had asked Father Christmas for make-up. Just thinking about that make-up filled me with joy. But when I opened the gift (sorry, Mum!), my heart sank. It was a plastic Charlie’s Angels make-up set — not quite the glamorous palette I had imagined.

Years later, my daughter went through the same thing. She was about 12 years old and convinced that an acrylic nail set would change her life. For four weeks, she counted down the days with excitement. But when it arrived, the magic faded quickly — I think she used it twice! What she had loved most was the anticipation — the imagined happiness.

It made me think: how often do we do this?

We chase jobs, houses, goals — thinking this will finally be the thing.
Have you ever landed your dream job, only to dread it a few months later? Or found yourself avoiding messages from someone you once couldn’t wait to hear from?

We’ve all had moments where happiness seemed guaranteed — and then, at the finish line, quietly slipped away.

So what changed for me?

That shift didn’t happen overnight. For me, it began with coaching.
Coaching gave me the space to untangle old beliefs, challenge the “shoulds,” and reframe my definition of joy. It helped me realise I could choose happiness — even in uncertainty.

Coaching helped me change my mindset. It was like putting on a new pair of glasses — suddenly, I could see things differently. I let go of the sentence, “I’ll be happy when…” and replaced it with, “I am happy because…”

Happiness is here, now, in this moment. It isn’t about what you own or what you do. It’s how you feel, how you think and how you respond to life.

If you’re struggling to feel that right now, know you’re not alone. But also know this:

You can change your relationship with happiness.
You can define success on your own terms.
And you absolutely deserve to feel good in your life.

Ready to reconnect with your happiness?

🎧 Put on “Happy” by Pharrell Williams. Clap along if you feel like happiness is the truth.

☎️ Book a free discovery call to see if coaching might be the space you need to find out what joy really means to you. https://calendly.com/tinyvoicetalks/discovery-call