250 Pilates Classes Later

Today marks two wonderful achievements — another time around the sun and attending 250 Pilates classes.

Both feel significant in their own way.
One expected. One, if I’m honest, something I never thought I would reach.

I was diagnosed with systemic mastocytosis in 2018, although the signs had been there long before that. Since 2016, I’d been told I had “dodgy blood tests” — one of those phrases that doesn’t quite land at the time but makes more sense in hindsight. When I learnt about systemic mastocytosis and its symptoms, everything clicked into place.

Prior to 2016, I had always loved movement. The gym, running, swimming — it was part of who I was. But early that year, something shifted. Exercise became harder. If I ran one day, I would be in bed the next. Completely wiped out.

It wasn’t just tiredness. When I did try to move, my body would flare. The change in body temperature would trigger my mast cells and I would feel incredibly unwell. One by one, the things I loved had to go. Running. The gym. Swimming. Even walking, at times.

Chronic fatigue crept in and slowly, quietly, exercise disappeared from my life.

By 2022, I was spending a lot of time in bed when I wasn’t working.

I missed moving my body, but I was scared of it too. It didn’t feel safe anymore.

Around that time, my care had moved to Guy’s Hospital and there was talk of a possible drug trial. I held onto that. It felt like hope. But 2022 passed. Then 2023. Nothing came and my fatigue only deepened.

Then, towards the end of 2023, I saw that a new Pilates studio had opened near me.

I remember pausing on it — curious but cautious. I was so tired of not moving, yet so unsure of what my body would allow. Eventually, I sent an email to the owner, Joni, explaining everything. All the fears. All the what-ifs.

She replied with such care. She suggested I try, reassured me that the teachers would support me and somehow… that was enough to take the first step.

I signed up for a six-week course.

I was nervous. I didn’t know what I would be able to do. But the teachers were patient and kind and slowly, I began to trust the process. Then, very slowly, I began to trust my body again.

It wasn’t linear. It still isn’t. I had to cancel classes when the fatigue was too much. I had to be careful about which sessions I chose, making sure I didn’t overheat. There were stops and starts, doubts and hesitations.

But something was shifting.

Little by little, I felt stronger. Not in a dramatic, obvious way. Just small moments… a movement that felt easier, a class I could complete, a flicker of confidence returning.

Then, in May 2024, I started the drug trial.

That changed everything.

And now, here I am. 250 classes later.

I still find that number hard to believe.

I am so grateful — to Joni, who patiently replied to my many emails and reassured me every time. To the teachers who have supported me at every stage and to the community that exists within those walls. I never went to Pilates to make friends, but somehow, I have. The social events, the conversations, the shared understanding — it has become so much more than exercise.

My body is stronger than it has been in years. Sometimes I surprise myself with what I can do.

For a long time, I thought my body had let me down.

But maybe it was asking me to listen differently.
To slow down.
To respect its limits.
To notice the smallest signs of strength returning.

I had given up on it.

But it hadn’t given up on me.

Now, 250 classes in, I’m not chasing who I used to be.

I’m learning to become someone new.
Someone who moves with care.
With gratitude.

And that feels like everything.